/(' u ')/
If My Dog Could Talk
  • Dog: WAT DOING
  • Me: Nothing. I just stood up.
  • Dog: WHERE GO
  • Me: I'm literally walking 3 feet away. I'm not even leaving the room.
  • Dog: CAN I COME
  • Me: I mean sure but I'm literally just-
  • Dog: I COME TOO
  • Dog: WAT DOING
  • Me: I need to open this door.
  • Dog: I HALP
  • Me: No but you're in front of the door. Move please.
  • Dog: I HALP
  • Me: Sigh.
  • Dog: WHERE GOING
  • Me: I am going right back to the exact place I was sitting a second ago.
  • Dog: CAN I COME
  • Me: Sure.
  • Dog: I SIT IN LAP
  • Me: No please don't you are-
  • Dog: I SIT IN LAP
  • Me: No there's no room and-
  • Dog: LAP
  • Me: No, sit on the floor and I'll pet you.
  • Dog: RIGHT HERE
  • Me: That's literally on top of my leg.
  • Dog: IT'S PERFECT PET ME
  • Me: I am petting you. One second, let me just grab my glass-
  • Dog: PET ME PET ME PET ME PET ME
  • Me: I literally am petting you, I just needed a drink-
  • Dog: PET ME PET ME PET ME PET ME
  • Me: I AM
  • Dog: I SIT IN LAP
  • Dog: PET ME PET ME PET ME
  • Dog: HOLD SLOBBER TOY
  • Dog: SNEEZE IN UR FACE
  • Me: .......

dylanthescientist:

princetanaka:

just a small town girl. Living in a racist, insensitive, sexist, homophobic world,

(cant take the midnight train ‘cause im fuckin scared)

(Source: princetanaka)


bearriebradshaw:

He is still 100% behind that statement
unclefather:

kill bill was a weird movie

a-cis-anti-feminist:

oneboredjeu:

Have a nice day.

WHAT THE FUCK


luxvriously:

My anaconda will consider it


altonym:

Beer honestly just tastes how I imagine urine to taste it is so rank and people are always like nah try this because this is special Beer and then it’s like oh ok urine with cinnamon in it great


jizzkin:

straight people on tv show: *literally have sex*

*silence*

gay people on tv show: *exist*

ok.. :\ but… ok like im not homophobic… :\ im ok with gay people but why do you have to shove it in my face… :\


buckysexual:

maskedfangirl:

marvelcolm:

Guys, please read my extremely NSFW Guardians of the Galaxy fanfic told from the perspective of Groot here.

I don’t normally rec a lot of PWP, but wow. Stop what you’re doing and read this, you won’t regret it!

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